The Winter of Regrets Page 3

  “Lunch on your dime at Dirty Deeds and talking to Darko? Why the fuck not. I may as well weigh my options.” Thorn held out his hand for the joint.

  Tears sat stiffly on the kitchen chair as her father Nailz and his wife Jo lectured her. The twins were napping. She looked around at the kitchen she had once thought was so wonderful in what had once been her dream home and family. It now seemed as if the walls were closing in on her. She was tired of listening to Jo go on and on about getting married too soon and too young. Her dad wouldn’t loan her money for college and her grandparents weren’t going to help either. She tried to drown both of them out by thinking of how she could make money. Kima had danced. Willie had danced too, so maybe that’s the answer. She didn’t understand why Jo had so much to say about her life and why her dad was trying to keep her from her dream of going to college.

  Jo stood in front of her, finger wagging in her face. “Do you even hear us Tearney? You got yourself into this mess, so you’ll have to figure out how to get yourself out of it. You could come back home and get divorced. We’ll help you out if you do that, you know. You had no business sneaking behind our backs and marrying Thorn!”

  At that, Tears stood up and shot a look at her father. “Dad, tell your wife not to put her finger in my face ever again. She’s right, I will fix this my way, and you both will stay the hell out of our lives. I’m never coming back into this house again. How dare you, Jo? You were pregnant, and without the Regans’ help and your friends, you’d have been on welfare!” She looked at Jo with disgust. “I used to love you, but with the way you’ve been acting, nobody wants to be near you. Have you even tried to help Kima?” She held her hand out, directly pointing at Jo. “I’ve had it, but you’re pregnant, so I won’t say what I really feel like saying.”

  Jo sneered, looking as if she wanted to form a response, but couldn’t find the words.

  Tears wouldn’t let her. She turned her glare onto Nailz, now. “I don’t know you anymore, daddy. You have your new little family now, so enjoy them. I’m going home to my husband, and you’re not welcome at my house. My husband and I will make it on our own. We don’t need your help.” She flipped back her long black hair and looked into their faces with a determined glare. Then she walked out the door, got into her car, and tore down the road, leaving Jo and Nailz to stare at one another.

  Nailz glared at Jo with steel in his eyes. “Did you have to push her so fucking hard? There is no reason not to give her the money to go to school. My parents feel like you’re pushing Tears away from us. The other night, you lied about them not coming to dinner. My mother heard you call Tears and tell her not to come over. What the hell was that about?” Nailz’ lip turned up in a snarl as he looked at Jo.

  “Tears is not as mature as I was when I met you,” Jo answered. “I’m looking out for her best interests! We’re her parents and she should be respectful of that. She left me here to care for the twins. I’m having a difficult pregnancy as it is. That was selfish of her. She doesn’t know what love is. Marrying Thorn without your permission is insulting to both of us!” Jo clutched at her stomach, made her way to a chair, and sat down.

  “What the fuck, Jo? You’re resentful that my daughter left you without live-in help, huh? Get over yourself. Go ahead and push my daughter away from her family and see what my parents have to say about that. You have no right to call yourself her mother. Tears had a mother and she died. She is never going to look at you as a mother. You’re just a few years older than she is. When did you get so prim and proper? Is that your old family coming out? Because you sound like a Parker now, not a Regan.”

  Jo closed her eyes, rubbing her stomach protectively and trying not to cry. She had nothing to say, apparently.

  Nailz sighed, his voice softening. “Tell me. Where the hell’s my sweet, red-haired Chickie?”

  All Jo ever did was cry when she didn’t get her own way. Gone was the happy Jo he loved so much; instead, a pregnant shrew had come to replace the woman he loved.

  Nailz rubbed his temples. Just another night of Jo’s bullshit, he thought to himself. He needed to escape her for a while, but felt badly leaving her alone. There was a meeting with Tramp later, so he’d get out of the house at least. He hated this shit between his wife and daughter, but knew in his gut that Jo was treating Tears wrong. It was a no-win situation for him.

  “I’ll be in the living room watching TV. I’ll bring the twins downstairs and keep them with me while you cook dinner.” He didn’t look at her as he walked away from her and therefore didn’t see her glaring at his back.

  Jo fumed. Nailz and his parents know nothing, she thought. She was doing all of this for Tearney’s own good. She just couldn’t understand why everyone could be so happy while she was so miserable. She didn’t want a third baby when she should have been in nursing school or enjoying her twin sons. Damn it, she didn’t want to be stuck at home pregnant again with dirty diapers and two boys that took after their father.

  Everyone was happy but her. Why did everyone seem to get so much while she got so little? It just wasn’t fair.

  Tears didn’t want to go home yet. Being alone at the Lodge scared her lately. She missed Hunter terribly and she was scared of the Filthy Fiends bikers. She blasted the radio hoping music would push the ache out of her heart. Sweet’s “Ballroom Blitz” blasted from the car’s speakers. Tears pushed her foot down on the gas pedal and turned onto the road that led to Elena’s house. The music helped strengthen her resolve, and as the song ended, she slowed down to turn into the farm’s lane. She wasn’t sure what she planned to say to Elena, but she wanted to cry and have Elena hold her. As she pulled in, she saw Elena looking out the door at her. She parked and nearly fell out of the car in her haste to get to Elena. Tears began to run toward the house as Elena held the door open for her. She slowed down as she got to the porch and grabbed on to Elena.

  “I really hate my father and Jo,” she moaned as the tears began to fall. “Why wouldn’t she try to help me after all the help I’ve given her? I always helped with the twins and did whatever she asked me to do. My dad … he is such an asshole to me. They told me to make it on my own. Jo said they’d only help me go to college if I divorce Thorn. Who the hell does she think she is? Elena, I need to dance. You’ve got to help me.”

  Elena put her arms around Tears, holding the crying girl. She wasn’t quite sure what to say to her. She thought about Nailz and wondered what was going on in that thick skull of his. Jo wanted to give advice? Well, that was rich. She, too, had needed help not so long ago, and they had all given it freely. In fact, she was married to Nailz partly because Tears had wanted a family. She hugged Tearney tighter as she tried to think of the right words to say. She hoped that Thrash and Kat didn’t show up while Tears was having a meltdown.

  Finally, Tears broke away from Elena and went into the bathroom to clean herself up. Elena decided to call Joy to come down and maybe they could figure out a plan to help Tearney. Elena thought about Jo and Nailz again and felt like giving them both a piece of her mind. She wouldn’t, though, because she had no place in Bound for Hell MC and was more determined now than ever to keep it that way.

  Elena picked up the phone to make a call. “Tears is visiting and I need you here,” she said in a low voice when Joy answered.

  Joy sighed. “I’m not going to like what’s going on, am I?”

  “No, it’s not good news. Nailz and Jo bullshit. I need you to come down because I don’t know what to tell her. Keep Jersey home; I don’t think Tears wants to see him.” She hung the phone up on Joy and sat down staring into space as she thought of the mess Hunter had created. He had tried to work things out so it would be easier for them. Instead, it was like he was trying to run their lives from the fucking grave.

  Joy came barging through the front door as Tearney was exiting the bathroom and she shyly smiled at Joy. “Elena called you down, huh?” Tears loved Joy as much as she loved the other women in their group.

  “
Sweetie, just sit down and tell me what the hell is going on before my ol’ man decides to come down here, since he saw me fly out of the house.” Joy figured Kat and Thrash could come in at any time and that Jersey might decide to come see what was going on.

  Tears relayed exactly what had been said and why. Joy began to pace, which was a habit she had when she was thinking.

  Elena lifted her head and looked at the two women she was so close to. “It is more than just Jo and Nailz going at Tears. Jo is backstabbing Kima and spreading vicious gossip. Jack keeps me filled in on everything that goes on. She hangs out with Jo every chance she gets. Nailz and I both have to sign papers for Thorn to receive any money from Hunter’s estate and he is acting as if it is his money. I’m ready to snap Kima out of her depression and tell her what Jo is saying.”

  Joy stood still, shaking her head in disbelief. “Why would Jo turn on Kima? That isn’t like Jo at all.”

  “Ever since Jo got pregnant after the twins, how much have you really seen of her besides Hunter’s funeral?” pointed out Elena. “She never comes around. I know she has her hands full, but unless she needs a favor, does she ever call and ask us to stop by?” Elena’s face twisted with a frown. “I know the answer is no. She might have pregnancy issues, but hell, why didn’t she just use birth control? It isn’t nice to turn on Kima when she is truly hurting from Hunter’s death. Think back to when Kima needed Jo. Maybe—just maybe—had she been there for her, you and Kima wouldn’t have ever met Rabid that night. Did that ever occur to you?”

  Joy sighed and stared at the floor. Something still wasn’t making sense.

  “I’ve played it out in my mind from the day of Kima’s accident,” Elena went on. “Hunter and I tried to get her to go to Florida with us. I blame myself all the time for what happened to Kima, and so does Hunter. At least she had you, Joy. Where was Jo, who was supposed to be her best friend? Now she’s saying Kima is crazy and not a good mother to Josie. Kima is mourning a man that was willing to put his Lodge up to get her back. Where was Nailz? He’s supposed to be so tough … and what did he really do for Kima?”

  “Nothing,” answered Joy bitterly.

  “I’m done with this crap! I’m telling Kima all of it and I’m telling Jo what I think of her, too!” By Elena’s voice, they could tell she was dead serious and angry.

  Tears gasped and looked at the two older women. She didn’t know all the backstory about Kima and Rabid, but she was aware that Kima had suffered terribly at that man’s hands.

  Joy gave Elena a tight squeeze. “Elena, you can’t do it. Kima will end up hating you for it. Trust me, nobody likes a gossiper. You want to tell Kima about Tears and the problems with Jo and Nailz, then do that. Let Kima see Jo for what she is, and maybe this gossiping shit will blow over.”

  “Joy’s right, Elena. Telling Kima that her best friend and adopted sister is talking shit behind her back isn’t a good idea. In fact, it might make her feel worse.” Tears looked at the two older women imploringly. “I need you two to help me dance. I have to help Thorn and dancing is the only way I can think to make fast money. I can do it, I just need some costumes and a bar or two—somewhere away from here—that I can dance in. Thorn would have a fit if he knew what I was doing. I’m not going to beg Nailz for anything and you know Thorn won’t.”

  Joy took a moment before deciding. “I’ll help you, but we’re going to have to be sneaky. With the Filthy Fiends at war with the two clubs, I’m not sure where you should dance. I can’t take you to Dirty Deeds, but maybe Dusty will have an idea. Elena, it’s time you started your agency. You keep putting it off, and I know a few dancers who want to work for you. Some could dance with Tearney and I’ll dance with her. You’re not making enough money just getting Darko dancers. You need the income anyway and we’ll be helping Tears out.” Joy tilted her head and pushed her blonde hair back as she grinned at Elena and Tearney. “You know I’m right as usual.”

  Elena shook her head at Tears and Joy. “I can’t believe I’m going to agree to this.” She sighed loudly. “I know that I’ll live to regret it, too. Joy, call Dusty and get her over here at lunchtime tomorrow. You both, be here too. I hear a truck coming down the lane, so it’s time for you two to go. I have some business to take care of.”

  Joy’s smile grew. “How about I take Rhiannon home with me? Uncle Jersey would love to play with her.”

  Elena nodded, agreeing. “I’ll get her diaper bag in case she needs to be changed. I’ll be up after I get rid of them. Go in and get her, Joy.” Elena kissed Tears as she left, then stood at the door to watch Thrash and Kat park the truck. Tears hurried to her car and quickly drove off.

  “You want me to come back down here? Jersey is fine with the baby, Elena.” Joy stood with a sleepy Rhiannon in her arms.

  “Oh, hell no. I’m looking forward to doing this, Joy! I want my house back and I need Thrash to leave me alone. He’s pushing at me too hard and I don’t like it. Hey, tell Jersey what I said. Maybe he can get Thrash to back the hell off me. I don’t think this will take very long. There are diapers in the bag and formula. I’ll be up as soon as I can or I’ll call you.” She watched as Joy and her daughter left, then waited by the door.

  Joy placed the baby on her lap and carefully drove the short distance to her house. She hoped that Elena would be able to stand her ground, but she also wanted to see Elena with Thrash when the time was right … if her stubborn friend would ever see that Thrash was perfect for her.

  Thrash stepped into the house, following Elena and Katri into the kitchen. Elena had a hard look on her face, which gave Thrash a reason to suspect something was wrong right away.

  “You both may as well sit down because I’ve got a few things to say.” Elena paused and waited for them to sit. They did. She couldn’t quite face them, still gathering her resolve. “This … This isn’t working out for me,” she stated carefully. “While you’ve been a help to me and Rhiannon, I’ve found someone else to take care of her. Katri, my dog hates you,” she added, “and I’m sick of keeping Dragon locked up. I have Amy who can help with the horses and give lessons when I can’t. Amy has done more for me than you were paid to do.”

  Katri shot her a look. “The dog does not hate me. That dog—”

  “Let me finish,” said Elena, cutting her off with a hard look of her own. “I know Jo needs help, so with Tears married, I think she’d love to have you.” She faced Thrash, curious if he’d have anything to say. He didn’t yet, from the look of it. “I need my space, Thrash, and I’ve tried to explain that to you over and over. Kat, Amy is moving in, so you need to be out as soon as possible. Why don’t you give Jo a call and see if she wants you? I think your brother and I need to speak on the porch.”

  Elena didn’t wait to see if Thrash would follow because she knew damn well he was hot on her heels. As the door slammed, she sat on the glider and waited for him to start protesting.

  She didn’t have to wait long. “Elena, what the hell is going on?” Thrash stood with his arms folded and his eyes ablaze.

  “I’m taking my life back, Thrash. I told you right after she came, I wasn’t happy about Katri living here and that she was a mistake. Do you think I want to hear her telling me what Jo has to say about Kima? Your sister and Jo are like two peas in a pod. I found her a place and I have a girl more suited to my needs. Jersey is here on the farm in case any Filthy Fiends come around, which I doubt will happen. Seems like Stinky gave up on Joy and none of them have been here in a while. You seem to think I am ready for a relationship when I just buried the man I was with for many years. I’m not ready and I never promised you that I would be with you. I need time. I need to find myself again. I’m seeing things that I really don’t like.” She looked Thrash straight in the eyes. “Joy can’t stand Katri and you know that. Out of respect for her, I never should have agreed to keep your sister this long, but with Hunter dying, I had no choice. I’ve found someone else to help me and you need to accept that. Katri is not my responsibil
ity; she’s yours and Veiko’s. I also have a huge problem with Nailz and Jo. Are you aware that Jo told Tearney they’d only help her with college if she divorced Thorn? Why is Jo saying Kima isn’t taking care of Josie? I doubt V would like hearing that, but I’m going to make sure he knows. Kima is mourning Hunter, but she takes care of her baby and I dare anyone to say otherwise!”

  She pushed the glider back and forth harder to prove her point. Elena was angry and her body was tense. Her eyes blazed at him as if she was daring him to contradict her.

  Thrash muttered, “You know all of this I guess from Katri? I know she goes over there when she can. I didn’t know that Nailz had any problem with Thorn. Are you sure it’s Nailz and not just Jo?”

  Elena pushed her glider harder. “How the hell would I know? I have enough problems of my own. Hunter made some last minute change in the will. He added on that both Nailz and I have to sign if Thorn needs money. Nailz thinks Thorn should be able to manage the Lodge on his own money but it is closed. Hunter wanted that because of the bullshit with the Filthy Fiends. He didn’t feel it was safe for guests.” The glider moved faster. “Without paying guests, it isn’t making money. Thorn isn’t making money off the Lena. Nobody is making money. Nailz has no clue what it takes to run the Lodge. Hunter was crazy to involve him in this. He is getting back at Thorn for marrying Tears. As for Jo, fuck her. You weren’t here when Kima was a mess after the motorcycle accident. How Jo had her car and never came to the hospital … Did you even know that Kima had to ask Thorn to get her car back? She turned her back on Kima and I don’t know why. Your whole club turned on Kima. Hunter wasn’t going to patch in, don’t you remember?” Elena wasn’t holding anything back now; it was past the time she should have told Thrash how she felt.