The Winter of Regrets Read online

  by

  Needa Warrant

  Copyright © 2016 by Needa Warrant

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without the express written consent from the author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages embodied in critical articles or in a review.

  Trademarked names appear throughout this book. Rather than trademarked name, names are used in an editorial fashion, with no intention of infringement of the respective owner’s trademark.

  The information in this book is distributed on an “as is” basis, without warranty. Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this work, neither the author nor the publisher shall have any liability to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book.

  The characters, locations, and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity or resemblance to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. This book is entirely based on the imagination of the author.

  Copyright © 2016 Needa Warrant

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

  Published by Needa Warrant

  Backrest Bytches Publishing

  Cover Design by Tabby Coots

  Interior Formatting/Design by Daryl Banner

  Edited by Daryl Banner

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  Warm breath softly whispered along the side of her neck. “Kima, come on, get up. Your mom will be here soon to babysit Josie.” His breath tickled her ear and his teeth began to gently nip her earlobe. Kima rolled to her side and pretended she was still asleep. After another kiss, he growled, “Get your ass out of this bed now.”

  That made her open her eyes. “I’m awake, V. My clothes are on the chair. Let me get up.” Kima stretched like a cat, her long legs moving and her tousled blonde bed hair falling over her eyes. Kima pushed it aside and looked at her man, who stared back with that crooked smile she loved so much. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

  His smile deepened. “I’m really glad you’re going out with Dee and Jo to do this wedding shit. I know you don’t really want to do it. I like Dee, and it’s good for you to get out.” He gave her a wink, and she stuck her tongue out at him. “Don’t stick it out, babe, unless you plan to use it.” He watched as Kima got up and began to dress. She had lost weight, but she looked damn fine for being a new mother.

  “Stop eyeing me up like that, Veiko. Want my mom to come in and find us in bed?” He shook his head, but the smile remained on his face. “I didn’t think so. Where are you going that I needed my mom to watch Josie?” Kima tried not to be nosy but wanted his answer.

  The smile left V’s face. “Club shit.”

  Kima brushed her hair out and sprayed herself with Love’s Baby Soft Mist. She didn’t bother with makeup; just a finger-dip into a gloss pot brushed over her lips and she was ready. Veiko loved her Love’s Baby Soft Mist even though she was ready for a change in scents.

  “I’ll head out before your mom gets here—easier not to have to answer her questions. You’re ready to do this?” V’s voice held some concern in it as he studied Kima’s reaction. He liked what he saw: his wife’s hot ass wearing black jeans, a red sweater, and her favorite black boots. It made him want to take her back to bed, but club business wouldn’t wait.

  “I really wish people would stop asking me if I am fine,” she griped. “I’m just peachy. Hunter died and I miss him. I don’t understand what the big issue is. I’ll be missing him for the rest of my life. Yes, Veiko, I am ready to go shopping for a wedding dress. You know how much I love weddings,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “This is for my brother and Deidra. Pain-in-the-ass Jo will be with me asking a hundred questions again about my getting sixty percent of Anya’s property. Damn, you’d think my great aunt should have included her. She never stops asking about what Anya is doing and why. I can’t help it if I’m her favorite.”

  Veiko chuckled at that.

  “Anya never took to Jo much when we were kids,” she went on. “I used to tease my great aunt that one day Jack would marry Jo and she’d make the sign of the cross and give me an evil look.” Kima laughed mockingly.

  “Jo’s constantly asking me questions too,” Veiko remarked. “I think she’s jealous, babe. Shelly and Jack never said a word, so I don’t understand why Jo feels like she’s entitled to shit. Try to remember, she’s having problems being pregnant, and Tears isn’t there to help her.” He faced her. “I really gotta leave. Come here and kiss me,” he demanded, his eyes gleaming as they roamed hungrily over her body.

  When Kima moved closer, Veiko grabbed her up and tossed her over his shoulder, heading to the living room. She giggled, her fingers tangled in his streaked blond hair. He headed for the couch and dumped her onto the cushions. Both of them laughed as he pulled his woman to her feet and leaned in to meet her lips. His hands traveled down her body, exploring her with his fingertips.

  “I gotta go, babe,” he whispered. “We’ll continue this later tonight.”

  She watched as he put on his black leather jacket, then studied the colors on his back. Bound for Hell MC. Observing his jacket, Kima thought, Damn, Veiko’s got a fine ass. “Behave yourself, V,” she told him, “and tell Thorn to bring Tears over for dinner tomorrow night.”

  V turned, shocked. “You want to have company for dinner?”

  “Just Tears and Thorn. I don’t want Jo and Nailz and their brats. I’ll make a pot roast. We’ll hang out and watch some television or something. If you have club business, we can do it another night.” Kima watched his reaction and wondered why he seemed so put-off. “What’s the big deal? I cook every night.”

  “Nothing,” he said. “Just glad you want company. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Love you babe, always.”

  He didn’t wait for her reply, walking out the door. She watched him go, then listened to his bike roar to life and rip out of the driveway. Shortly after his departure, Kima made sure the pillows were straightened on the couch, hoping her mother wouldn’t find anything wrong with her housekeeping. The house was spotless since all she did was cook, clean, and take care of Josie, Veiko, and her animals. Lately, she avoided going to the clubhouse or to her parents for dinner. She just couldn’t be around people, not since Hunter’s death. She mourned him privately, and now she was done—or as done as she’d ever be.

  She checked on Josie and watched her daughter sleeping in her crib before softly closing the door. A moment later, she heard a car pull up and knew her mother had finally arrived.

  Jean Regan stepped into the house and loo
ked around. The house was spotless and her daughter Kima looked well and nicely dressed. She had been told that Kima’s house was a constant mess and that she wasn’t cooking or cleaning, which made Jean worry about her daughter—as any mother would. Kima had always been particular about cleaning and had always loved to cook.

  “Did you clean because I was coming over to babysit, Kima?”

  “Hello to you too, mom,” replied Kima sourly, hurt by her mother’s implication. “My house is always clean. My baby’s always fed and my barn is tidy too, if you’d like to go out and check it. What is wrong with you? When did I ever have a dirty house?”

  “I heard you weren’t doing much, honey. Daddy and I were getting a little concerned about you.” She seemed to look everywhere but at her daughter. “You didn’t want to come over and … well, I just wondered if today was a good day for you. I think it’s wonderful you’re going to be in the wedding!” Jean was trying to make her voice sound light—and she was failing miserably.

  “I’m fine, mom. Did you hear that from Veiko?” Kima shot her mother a questioning look.

  Jean hadn’t heard it from Veiko, but she wasn’t going to tell Kima who told her either. “No, of course not. When V comes over, he’s talking to your dad all the time about that new business venture. I think it’s wonderful he is getting so close with your father. Everything we wanted for our children is happening and I’m so pleased.” She smiled warmly at her daughter.

  Kima looked at her and wondered. Somebody was feeding her mother a load of bullshit, it seemed. “Anya was very generous to me, wasn’t she? If she hadn’t been, we never could have bought it. I stayed out of the loan with daddy on purpose. I want Veiko to feel like this is his business. I never wanted Nailz involved either. All Jo does is bitch that I got something she didn’t.” Running her hand through her hair, she continued. “I promised Anya I’d care for her and I will. I’m going to make sure Anya stays in the cottage she chose until she dies or I can’t care for her any longer. I don’t hear my brother or other sister bitching. Maybe you should explain that to her. This business is what Hunter told Veiko to do, and I support him. In time, I’ll get involved when Josie is older. It really isn’t Jo’s business, mom, so tell her to stay out of it.” Kima’s mood was turning dark just thinking about this new business Veiko was starting, not to mention Jo’s crazy ass behavior. She really wanted to enjoy the day, for Dee’s sake, so she needed to put this shit out of her mind.

  “I hear a car pulling up,” her mother noted. “I’ll make sure Josie is fine honey. Just go and have a good time, alright? Tell the girls I said hello. Oh, and make sure Dee gets whatever dress she wants!”

  Jean was not in the mood to argue with her daughter. Maybe Kima knew it, kissing her mother on the cheek and grabbing her black jacket that hung on the coat tree. “Josie will be waking up anytime now. Don’t spoil her too much, and I’ll make sure Dee gets her dream wedding dress.”

  “Thank you.”

  Kima nodded. “And Mom … I don’t know who is telling you all this bullshit, but you’d better tell them to stop before I find out who it is. I’ll be back soon, mom. Love you.”

  She headed out the door toward the car as her mother stood in the doorway waving. It was good to get out of the house. The sun shined brightly. She smiled when she saw Jo sitting in the backseat of Dee’s Mach 1. It might be a fun way to spend the day after all.

  Deidra stared at her reflection in the bridal shop mirror. This was not the dress for her no matter what Kima and Jo thought. It was kind of them to take her shopping since Mrs. Regan gave up on finding the perfect dress. She didn’t mean to be so picky. She’d let Mrs. Regan plan the wedding reception the way she wanted. Jack had tossed up his hands at the whole affair and chose to busy himself with the details of building their house. In all honesty, she’d have liked to shop with Willie and Teddy instead, but needed to please her new sisters-in-law.

  Outside the dressing room, Kima turned to Jo and spoke quietly. “I told you it was a lost cause. That dress is too puffy, and it’s more to your tastes than Dee’s. We need to get her to tell us what she likes. If we have to call Shelly to come down, we’ll do that.”

  “But I love that dress,” Jo complained with a sigh. “You’re on your own after today. Nailz doesn’t want me shopping. He says I need my rest, but I think it’s more that he just doesn’t want to watch the twins. I had to borrow Katri from Elena at the last minute. Business with the club as usual,” Jo bitched as she propped up her feet on the ottoman.

  The saleswoman came out and approached the two women. “Deidra’s crying. I think one of you should talk to her.”

  Kima got right up. “Sit here, I’ll see what’s wrong.” She brought herself to the dressing room door and knocked softly. “It’s Kima. May I come in?” When there was no answer, she opened the door, only to find Dee curled up in the corner with tears flowing down her face.

  “Kima, I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I thought my mother would be here to do all of this with me someday. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I miss her so much. I appreciate everyone’s help, but I feel so lost.”

  “Oh, Dee …” Kima lowered to the floor and put a hand on Dee’s shoulder. “We should’ve thought of that. I still can’t get over Hunter being gone either. What do you think your mother would have liked in a dress? Do you have any pictures of your parents’ wedding?”

  Tears started flowing again down Dee’s face. “Margo burned all of them. My mother wore a simple white dress. Whiskey, my dad, wasn’t much into weddings. I know she was pregnant with me. I don’t have much of her left, just what pictures I could grab or had hidden … No early pictures of us as a family. I don’t even want Margo to come to my wedding, but how do I tell my dad that? I don’t want fights at the wedding. I think Jack and I should have run off, but it meant so much to your mother to have a wedding for us.”

  Kima pressed her lips together. “It would, because Jo and I were pregnant and she didn’t get to plan a huge wedding. She did get to plan a few of Shelly’s weddings, though. Did anyone tell you Shelly’s on her fourth marriage? It’s a joke in the family, but we really like Doug, her new husband. This Margo sounds like a bitch. Maybe she won’t come?”

  Dee wiped her face with a tissue the saleslady had given her. “Margo doesn’t know I’m marrying into a wealthy family. I doubt my dad told her much about my life here. It isn’t like I’m important to him. The only use I have for him is to tie the two clubs together. I wonder how he felt when Margo had a daughter. The only use for that girl will be the same as me; if Whiskey can use her to his advantage, he will. The club comes first.”

  “Always,” agreed Kima tiredly.

  “Silly Margo was so positive she was having a son,” Dee went on. “I feel sorry for the baby and hope she’s able to love it. She’s one of the vilest women I’ve ever met. Nothing like my sweet mother was.”

  Kima kept rubbing Dee’s back, listening in silence.

  “I still wonder why my dad fell for her. Margo will come and she will be mean to me and my dad won’t notice or say a damn thing to her. Other women used to tell her to back off and she gave them hell. Kima, I love Jack but I hate this whole wedding reception idea. Your wedding is supposed to be your dream and, well, so far this is a damn nightmare.”

  Kima didn’t know what to say to Deidra. She was trying to picture how this would play out with her family if Dee was taunted at her wedding by some biker bitch and she didn’t think her family who adored Deidra would put up with it. If that happened, it would probably turn into one big cluster fuck. An Irish/Russian cluster fuck with bikers from a few MC clubs present would be dangerous to say the least.

  “Did you tell my brother about any of this?” Kima finally asked. “My family isn’t going to like Margo. I can tell you that from what you’ve said about her. My mom needs to know so she can seat her far away from you. We’ll work on this Dee, I promise.” She offered a hand, then pulled Dee to her feet. “Now, do you want
to look at more dresses? We don’t have that much time since my brother pushed the wedding date up. I need a dress. Willie, Teddy, and Dusty need dresses, as well as little Melora. Why don’t we see what they have in stock?” She noted the weariness in Dee’s face, then added, “Or we can plan another day and ask the girls to come with us.”

  Dee appreciated the offer. “Yes,” she agreed, giving Kima a teary smile. “I’d like to look a bit more. If I can’t find a dress here, we’ll make a day of it and go to another bridal shop with the girls. Thank you for understanding, Kima. I was scared to tell anyone. I hate to be a bother to all of you.”

  “You’re not a bother, ever! I’m glad you finally told me. I’ll talk to my mother and Veiko. Maybe he can figure out some way to talk to your father. You go on and get dressed. I’ll be sitting with Jo.” With that, Kima left Dee to dress in peace.

  Jo was yawning when Kima sat down heavily beside her. “Did you get anywhere with Dee?” she asked Kima. “My heartburn’s killing me and I can’t get comfortable. I need to go home.”

  “Not now,” she said back. “I’ll tell you later, but yes, I found out the problem. She misses her mother and is scared the stepmother’s going to ruin the wedding. That’s the short version. We’ll talk later on the phone.” Kima noticed how pale Jo looked and suddenly found herself glad she wasn’t pregnant.

  Dee walked out and spoke to the saleswoman who brought her over to an area they hadn’t looked at yet. Kima and Jo were too tired to get up to see the wedding dresses. They noticed Dee shaking her head at a few, but she took two more dresses into the dressing room.

  Shortly after, the saleswoman came over to speak to them. “She doesn’t want to spend too much money,” she explained. “There’s one dress she fell in love with and I think it would be perfect for her, but she complained it cost too much.”